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Cry me a river, England

2023-07-24T09:30+10:00

The Ashes are retained.

It comes without climax, and it comes without triumphalism.

It’s hard to know exactly how to feel about it.

Particularly as it follows two of the most chastening days of cricket Australia has been subjected to.

The rain saved Australia, and the urn remains in our possession. It is an achievement, but it is not a celebration.

And I don’t think it diminishes The Oval terribly much as a decider for the series.

While the trophy isn’t up for grabs, judgment sits so heavily over what happens in the fifth Test.

The dismal Manchester forecast proved unerringly accurate. This looked like a three-day Test in prospect.

Hindsight would suggest Australia cut its cloth not to lose an abbreviated match and were comprehensively outplayed by an opponent facing the necessity to play bull-at-a-gate cricket.

But seriously cry me a river England.

The bleating coming from the other side of the world is too much to bear.

You’d think there had never before been a Test match washed away and that the cliched bleak English weather had never assisted the home team’s endeavors previously.

This exact circumstance presented for England 10 years ago and they rejoiced unapologetically.

Like so much in this series the English are very selective in memory.

England has shamelessly ordered pitches to suit a very particular style of play.

Ben Stokes has won every toss and thus had the choice to play the matches to their best advantage.

In defeat they have claimed to be moral victors. They have applied the letter of the law and the spirit of the game selectively to suit their actions.

They have excused their own foibles and errors as the quest to entertain.

And when they haven’t been booing and abusing the Australians, they have whinged relentlessly.

Perhaps this is where we should find our enjoyment this morning.

England knew they had to win in three days at Old Trafford. They indulged the Bairstow quest for a century on the third day and sacrificed 14 precious overs.

And amid boasts that England needed just 10 more overs to finish off Australia on Day 4… they got a bonus session and managed just the one wicket in 30 overs.

So, cry me a river England. They’ll probably be blaming us for their shite weather next.

Ashes cricket ties together series on series. The thrashing on these shores wasn’t void. It ensured the advantages of possession of the urn.

By winning the opening two Test matches Australia tipped all the benefits in their favor, and that came home to roost overnight.

So, no there’s no celebration, and we have the good grace not to indulge in triumphalism.

But the Ashes are ours on merit, and we shouldn’t spend the day apologizing for it.

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