Jockey Tommy Berry had hit rock bottom after his twin brother passed away in 2014.
At the age of 23, Nathan Berry collapsed at trackwork in Singapore and had been diagnosed with viral encephalitis.
Having been flown back to Sydney and placed in an induced coma, it became apparent that he was suffering from Norse syndrome, a severe and rare form of epilepsy.
The tragic passing of Nathan impacted Tommy greatly and as a result he turned to alcohol in a bid to deal with his struggles.
He admits he went down a path of self destruction and running away from his problems as he attempted to get on without his good mate and twin brother.
“It took me a long time to figure out how to live life normally,” he told SEN 1170’s The Jimmy Smith Show.
“We were very close, we lived down the road from each other, we spent every day together, we did our apprenticeship together. Pretty much all of our lives was spent together.
“I really had to learn how to live without him and go through life without him, whether it was routine-wise, or just not having him there in my corner, or if I needed advice. I didn’t even have to ask, he knew me well enough to know if things weren’t right.
“It was a really big battle for me learning how to live life without Nathan.
“I pushed that away. Two weeks after he passed away I took a stint in Hong Kong to get away. On the track I was going well but mentally it was a real battle.
“I was trying to run away from my problems and I did that for quite a while. I started drinking quite heavily. I’m not a big drinker, but just to help me get through the days.”
Berry has his wife Sharnee to thank for snapping him out of the rut.
“It wasn’t until my wife pulled me up one day and said she misses the person that I was and that I wasn’t the person she married and wanted to spend the rest of her life with,” he added.
“I’ve got four young kids and she said you need to go and get help, plain and simple.
“I obviously did for them and it was the best thing I ever did.”
Seeking help from a sports psychologist helped Berry deal with the issues that were plaguing him.
The 30-year-old tips his hat to his wife for making him see the light.
“She saved my life. I was heading down a road that at the time, when you’re in it, you don’t realise how bad things are,” he said.
“You don’t realise what you’re doing to yourself and people around you. It’s quite a selfish thing sometimes, then you don’t realise the repercussions it has on the people around you.
“I was heading into a path where I couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and I couldn’t see a way of getting back to where I was, because a life without Nathan was almost one I didn’t want to be in.
“I just had to find positives in life, which I wasn’t looking for. If it wasn’t for Sharnee saying you’ve got to get help otherwise you’re going to lose us all, I’m not sure if I’d even be here.”
Berry had a message for anybody dealing with similar issues and how to deal with them in the best way possible.
“If you don’t want to get help for yourself, get help for the people around you,” he said further.
“My kids deserve to have a father that wants to be present for them al the time. My mum and dad had already lost one kid, so they needed me to be strong for them as well, and I wasn’t.
“Try and be a better person for the people around you. Try and get help. If it’s not for you, it’s for the people around you.
“You’ll find that when you do become better, it does help you as well. Getting help is the main thing and opening up is the first step to going forward.”
In 2021, Berry is enjoying some good form in the saddle with 25 Sydney metro winners, ranked third behind James McDonald and Jason Collett.
Overall this season he has ridden 36 winners which has him in the top 10 in the New South Wales jockeys’ premiership.
If you or someone you know needs support, help is available:
• Lifeline 13 11 14
• Mensline Australia Line 1300 789 978
• Kids Help 1800 55 1800
• Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467